Post mortem memento vivere

by Nothence

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released September 1, 2016

Written and produced by Fabio Scagliola

Fabio Scagliola - Guitars, bass, vocals, piano, organ, and drums

Recorded and mixed by Fabio Scagliola in Lugano, Switzerland, January-July 2016. Additional production and engineering by Alberto Rapetti

Album art, photos, and design by Fabio Scagliola


all rights reserved



Nothence Switzerland

Nothence is an independent alternative rock music project started by Fabio Scagliola in Lugano, Switzerland, in 2009. The fourth instrumental post-rock studio album "Proposed tracks for unproduced movies" was released on December 1, 2018. Three other studio albums were previously released: "Post mortem memento vivere" (2016), "Public static void" (2014), and "Portrayed by a blind painter" (2012). ... more

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Track Name: Remember to live
Do not run, otherwise you will sweat
Wait at least one more hour 'fore taking a bath
I was wearing a condom, but we might have touched
This may be sign of a tumor

The ghost of diarrhea's always haunting me
I could get stuck in a traffic jam
Should you need it, a toilet must always be near
– I must not run out of my drops

No way

I wish I could free my mind from all these worries for once at least before I die
I wish I forgot all my fears and remember to live

Hey, dad, do you recall when you used to go out?
What if I were allergic to what I just ate?
In a week I'll freak out to get on that plane
No one ever will listen to this

When we left, did you notice if I locked the door?
He's not picking up; something may be wrong with him
Flashing lights may trigger epilepsy
– I must not run out of my drops
Track Name: Son and father
Son is happy when Father plays with him
He's not afraid of darkness; he wonders if Father is
His tiny hand clung to Father's huge forefinger
They walk towards his room, wherever it may be

But Father's sitting, while he should kneel on the floor
He would only focus on what he is concerned of
Bored, Son leaves, walks out of his room
He does not have to turn the light off: Father is still there

He'll be back
Hell, be back

«Beautiful Mother
Kiss me welcome home
Hug me with arms and legs, and call
"Hey, Son, Father's home"»
And Son shivers
Watching Father as he comes
While he's still playing with Father
In his room

Son drives the car backwards out of the garage
Looking in the rearview mirror, like Father does
Will she wait for him on top of that hill?
More beautiful and graceful than Mother she will be

The road is steep and he can barely see
Turn after turn, like Father would, he climbs
Leaving all behind was never taken into account
He wonders if he will remember, when he comes back

He finds a body
Rotting on the lawn
Greener than ever
Around his shiny new home
And he shivers
Looking at the corpse
Features unrecognizable
It's wearing Mother's clothes
Track Name: Son to father
Sorry I've missed your call before
And then I haven't called you back
I knew you would have called again

Don't worry: everything's alright
I wasn't doing anything
Just seeing people, doing stuff

Of course I've been at school today
I would have told you, otherwise
Why do you keep on asking me?

I talked to grandpa the other night
He told me everything about what
You were like when you were my age

I got my dark side just like you: I'm your son

I've always trusted you
You've always been there for me
It's your time to trust me now
I don't want to disappoint you

Yes, dad, I know you love me
And you know I'll always love you
But I've got my life to live now
Please, let me go

You always did the best you could
You always gave me all you had
You were my hero, as a kid

You're not the tallest anymore
You taught me everything you know, now
Please let me make my own mistakes

The seed you planted long ago
Is growing branches around me
You're always here, protecting me

I've never heard you blame grandpa
For anything that could go wrong
I won't blame you for my mistakes

I learned your strength — which makes you proud
Don't you worry about your ghosts
I'll deal with them just like you: I'm your son
Track Name: Compensation
So many joyful creatures
The tears fill their eyes
Never reveal their features
And drop down the disguise

The burden of a feather
Conveys the bare essential
The two of them together
Release their full potential

It's compensation

Amassing the frustration
The act of self-disposal
The relief of temptation
Lead to the obscene proposal

Blindfolded sign the agreement
Each other's marionette
The scanty act is vehement
Joy gives way to regret
Track Name: Father to son
Just gone to bed, I've been studying till late
My alarm going off in a handful of hours
Not asleep yet when I hear the call of my fate
The one sound that can trigger a father's superpowers

I wrap up your micro-bottom in a clean nappy
You fit my forearm, the mouth of a young cuckoo
Cling to the baby bottle and drink till you're happy
Hiccup, smile, kiss goodnight, my arms around you

I had you in one hand and a book in the other
I had all I needed to walk into the future
Though I did not assess the cost of being a father
I did not expect it would cause any rupture

I might have lost some pieces along the way
And there have been some times when I had no clue
But It looks like in the end I just had to wait
What I was, am, and will be, I owe it to you

You may say I just did what had to be done
You may say in my shoes you would have done the same
Wandering aimlessly, while I could have potentially run
If I hadn't got you, It would have been a shame

23 years do not give you a lot of insight
Stay? Go? Left? Right? Fate? Do you think I knew?
The will to endure had been taught to me right
Not a goal to pursue — that I owe to you

Be aware of your potential, don't be lame
The strength to achieve lies asleep in your chest
Deep inside you can always find the thrust to aim
For the best, the zest; don't jest, don't rest

You're to be the one on which you place your bet
Do not waste your life to some worthless foo
All these things I've done with no regret
If there's ever been a reason, the reason was you

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