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Post mortem memento vivere

by Nothence

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Ante mortem 02:55
Do not run, otherwise you will sweat Wait at least one more hour 'fore taking a bath I was wearing a condom, but we might have touched This may be sign of a tumor The ghost of diarrhea's always haunting me I could get stuck in a traffic jam Should you need it, a toilet must always be near – I must not run out of my drops No way I wish I could free my mind from all these worries for once at least before I die I wish I forgot all my fears and remember to live Hey, dad, do you recall when you used to go out? What if I were allergic to what I just ate? In a week I'll freak out to get on that plane No one ever will listen to this When we left, did you notice if I locked the door? He's not picking up; something may be wrong with him Flashing lights may trigger epilepsy – I must not run out of my drops
Son is happy when Father plays with him He's not afraid of darkness; he wonders if Father is His tiny hand clung to Father's huge forefinger They walk towards his room, wherever it may be But Father's sitting, while he should kneel on the floor He would only focus on what he is concerned of Bored, Son leaves, walks out of his room He does not have to turn the light off: Father is still there He'll be back Hell, be back «Beautiful Mother Kiss me welcome home Hug me with arms and legs, and call "Hey, Son, Father's home"» And Son shivers Watching Father as he comes While he's still playing with Father In his room Son drives the car backwards out of the garage Looking in the rearview mirror, like Father does Will she wait for him on top of that hill? More beautiful and graceful than Mother she will be The road is steep and he can barely see Turn after turn, like Father would, he climbs Leaving all behind was never taken into account He wonders if he will remember, when he comes back He finds a body Rotting on the lawn Greener than ever Around his shiny new home And he shivers Looking at the corpse Features unrecognizable It's wearing Mother's clothes
Sorry I've missed your call before And then I haven't called you back I knew you would have called again Don't worry: everything's alright I wasn't doing anything Just seeing people, doing stuff Of course I've been at school today I would have told you, otherwise Why do you keep on asking me? I talked to grandpa the other night He told me everything about what You were like when you were my age I got my dark side just like you: I'm your son I've always trusted you You've always been there for me It's your time to trust me now I don't want to disappoint you Yes, dad, I know you love me And you know I'll always love you But I've got my life to live now Please, let me go You always did the best you could You always gave me all you had You were my hero, as a kid You're not the tallest anymore You taught me everything you know, now Please let me make my own mistakes The seed you planted long ago Is growing branches around me You're always here, protecting me I've never heard you blame grandpa For anything that could go wrong I won't blame you for my mistakes I learned your strength — which makes you proud Don't you worry about your ghosts I'll deal with them just like you: I'm your son
Compensation 03:58
So many joyful creatures The tears fill their eyes Never reveal their features And drop down the disguise The burden of a feather Conveys the bare essential The two of them together Release their full potential It's compensation Amassing the frustration The act of self-disposal The relief of temptation Lead to the obscene proposal Blindfolded sign the agreement Each other's marionette The scanty act is vehement Joy gives way to regret
After death 03:04
Just gone to bed, I've been studying till late My alarm going off in a handful of hours Not asleep yet when I hear the call of my fate The one sound that can trigger a father's superpowers I wrap up your micro-bottom in a clean nappy You fit my forearm, the mouth of a young cuckoo Cling to the baby bottle and drink till you're happy Hiccup, smile, kiss goodnight, my arms around you I had you in one hand and a book in the other I had all I needed to walk into the future Though I did not assess the cost of being a father I did not expect it would cause any rupture I might have lost some pieces along the way And there have been some times when I had no clue But It looks like in the end I just had to wait What I was, am, and will be, I owe it to you You may say I just did what had to be done You may say in my shoes you would have done the same Wandering aimlessly, while I could have potentially run If I hadn't got you, It would have been a shame 23 years do not give you a lot of insight Stay? Go? Left? Right? Fate? Do you think I knew? The will to endure had been taught to me right Not a goal to pursue — that I owe to you Be aware of your potential, don't be lame The strength to achieve lies asleep in your chest Deep inside you can always find the thrust to aim For the best, the zest; don't jest, don't rest You're to be the one on which you place your bet Do not waste your life to some worthless foo All these things I've done with no regret If there's ever been a reason, the reason was you
Acceptance 03:11


Learn more about "Post mortem memento vivere" on the mini website pmmv.nothence.com

Learn more about Nothence at nothence.com


released September 1, 2016

Written and produced by Fabio Scagliola

Fabio Scagliola - Guitars, bass, vocals, piano, organ, and drums

Recorded and mixed by Fabio Scagliola in Lugano, Switzerland, January-July 2016. Additional production and engineering by Alberto Rapetti

Album art, photos, and design by Fabio Scagliola


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Nothence Switzerland

Nothence is a personal independent alternative-rock music project started by Fabio Scagliola in Lugano, Switzerland, in 2009

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